A name says a lot about a restaurant. It can be straight-shooting, intriguing and sometimes witty, but it’s always important to present a professional front to any potential customers. For whatever reason, there are many restaurant owners who don’t seem to have got this particular memo. Instead, these entrepreneurs have opted for a more free spirited approach to naming, resulting in some of the least businessy sounding businesses on the face of the earth. As you’ll see, the world is a better place for their decisions.
1. Soon Fatt
Honesty is so often undervalued. In a world obsessed with calorie counting and diet tips, it’s refreshing to see a restaurant willing to embrace a body positive view of its menu.
2. Poo Ping
Another title that’s as predictive as it is informative. While some may find the association between the toilet and the kitchen is off putting, we find it refreshing to see an all encompassing view of human biology.
3. My Dung
There’s something about this title that makes the business feel far more visceral than most. We hear that My Dung’s special is really something to behold.
4. Cabbages and Condoms
We can only hope that this name is an accident and not a reference to the chef’s signature dish. Cabbages are unappetising at the best of times. A side of prophylactic doesn’t help.
5. Pizza Orgasmica
Here is one business unafraid to make some seriously bold claims about their cooking. We’ve all had some delicious pizza, but this could be as messy as it is tasty.
6. Pee & Poo Steak House
Two things that you don’t want anywhere near a steak. Begs the question, what exactly is in their peppercorn sauce?
What better way to make it clear that you happen to be both a chicken and a pizza specialist than by smashing the two words together? What could possibly go wrong?
8. Hot & Crusty
It’s difficult to think of two other words that can sound more mouthwatering by themselves but become as tempting as a hemorrhoid when paired together.
9. Dirty Dick’s Crab House
We really shouldn’t be surprised to learn that you can pick up crabs from Dirty Dick’s. If you expected anything less, you should have known better.
10. The Chocolate Log
Famously, Twisted love turning food into logs at every opportunity. However, even we draw the line at laying a chocolate log in front of the camera.
11. Fu King Chinese
It’s unclear whether this title refers to a business owner or a particularly foul mouthed racist tirade levelled at the Asian population. Either is a poor choice for a restaurant name.
12. Young Dong Garden
When you can’t tell at first glance if your sign refers to a restaurant or an adult film title, you know you might have failed to spend enough time brainstorming.
With the gift of hindsight, it’s easy to look back on these naming decisions with some regret. However, we think we speak for everyone when we say that we wouldn’t wish these to change for a second. The world is already too vanilla for us to cope with one less Fu King Chinese.