Along with dresses, flowers and rings, cake has to be one of the highlights of any proper wedding. Enormous monoliths of sugar and sponge, a wedding cake is no ordinary test of baking. Many can be so massive that they require their own architecture degree, whilst others can be luxurious enough that eating them feels like an insult. To build a wedding cake is not just a matter of taste - this dessert is about going completely OTT.
Of course, many weddings have featured weird and wacky cake designs. But, even by conventional cake making standards, some couples have pushed the patisserie boat out far further than most normal people could possibly imagine. For them, Victoria sponge feels like a missed opportunity. These are the most insane wedding cakes ever made.
1. Beheaded Cake
Weddings should be full of joy - a time to reflect on the promise of a new life together as partners. It shouldn’t feature a diorama of the happy couple’s decapitated heads. Whether this scene was a portent of troubles to come remains to be seen. All we know is that if there’s a more literal translation of “til death do us part”, we’re yet to see it.
2. $75,000 Cake
There’s often beauty in simplicity. The love shared between a man and a woman, a man and a man or anyone else who wants to spend the rest of their lives with one another is all you really need to make a wedding special. Unless you’re newlyweds Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka’oir. A note for anyone thinking about buying a big cake: if it looks like you’re trying to slay a dragon when you cut it, you may have taken things too far.
3. Palace Cake
Traditionally, stepping over the threshold of a new home with your partner is one of the most magical moments for any couple. When that home looks significantly less hospitable than your wedding cake however, the situation becomes a lot less jolly. Looking like a piece of set design from the live action remake of “Frozen”, this vast sculpture of spun sugar and icing should probably house a very small monarch rather than feed a wedding reception.
4. Tree Cake
Trees can inspire many emotions - awe, wonderment, inspiration at the profound beauty of the natural world. Most, however, don’t scream “eat me”. Though this tribute to Mother Nature certainly looks impressive, it might in hindsight not have been the best choice for an edible centrepiece.
5. Zombie Cake
Many new partners have an unstoppable “us against the world” attitude. Comparatively few, however, decide to translate this approach to a visual, sponge-constructed metaphor. Even fewer choose zombies to be the basis for that metaphor. Whatever you may think about their choices, this cake certainly gets the couple’s point across.
6. Bride Cake
Many wedding traditionalists would have you believe that the big day is all about the bride - disregarding everything that feminism and social politics have taught us about gender roles. But even the most conservative of wedding guests would struggle to justify having the reception dominated by a life size edible bridal sculpture. If her expression is anything to go by, she’s not best pleased either.
When it comes to cake, the sky’s the limit. You can stack it, sculpt it and turn it into all sorts of shapes and sizes. Perhaps that explains how these chefs may have got so carried away. But, as ever, just because you can do something, doesn’t mean that you should.