To an Italian, the pizza crust is best kept pure. Simple dough, baked on a high heat to deliver subtle bitter notes and a spongy softness is, according to Neapolitans, the only thing a pizza ever needs. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the world disagrees.
Ever since the geniuses in the Pizza Hut lab came up with the stuffed crust concept, chains all over the world have entered into a mad arms race. Everywhere you look, there are alarming creations filled with all manner of ingredients that have absolutely no right to be on a pizza. Take a deep breath, and try not to scream. These are seven of the most ridiculous things ever put into a pizza crust.
1. Salmon Cream
As the inventors of sushi, it’s no surprise that the Japanese love their seafood. What’s slightly harder to stomach is how they feel it should be added to pizza. Looking like something that belongs in a New York bagel, this salmon and cream cheese spread is an extremely odd way to try and improve a perfectly delicious meal.
2. Hot Dog
There is something indescribably horrible about the idea of your pizza being encased in an unbroken tube of processed meat. Apparently not put off by this nightmarish concept, Domino's decided to unleash the hot dog crust - complete with mustard - to Europe in 2013. Presumably, continent wide gastric problems soon followed.
3. Fish Eggs
When delicately spooned onto a blini or used to add a final flourish to a fishy main course, fish eggs can be delicious. When they’re baked into the crust of a pizza, the result is just weird. Also featuring yet more cream cheese, this insult to Italy hails from Hong Kong.
Whether prawns belong on pizza in the first place is a matter of intense debate. There should surely be no argument about whether they should go inside a crust. A ring of cooked prawn tails, leering sinisterly over the rest of your toppings is literally no one’s idea of delicious comfort food.
5. Peanut Sauce
For the uninitiated, Asian flavour combinations can be particularly challenging. Though most end up being ultimately delicious, there’s little doubt that a pizza crust featuring peanut sauce is a bridge too far. This bizarre idea is the brainchild of Domino’s Taiwan, who apparently thought that hot dog wasn’t anywhere near horrible enough.
Everyone knows that there’s extreme wealth in the Middle East. Apparently, having more money than sense is the perfect catalyst for some insanely over the top pizzas. Pizza Hut’s Crown Crust Carnival has been around since 2012, and features an ordinary pie, encircled by flying saucers of burger patty and cheese, giving the whole thing the look, and presumably taste, of a mutant sunflower.
7. Fried Chicken
Not all stuffed crust excess turns out to be a bad idea. It might by one of the least healthy things imaginable, but you’d be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t wish they were able to try a pizza with fried chicken embedded inside it. Anyone who wants the experience first hand will have to head to Indonesia for the privilege.
People will argue back and forth for all eternity over whether stuffed crust is the gift that keeps on giving or an affront to everything that pizza stands for. Whatever you might think of the idea, there’s little doubt that this list is best avoided at all costs. Except fried chicken. That’s awesome.