The Lord works in mysterious ways. Over the centuries, he or she has appeared to normal men and women in a range of unusual disguises. From Moses and his burning bush to Mary and the angel Gabriel, there’s no telling how or when you can expect a close encounter of the godly kind.
For some reason, the days of chatty shrubbery and flapping birdmen seem to be behind us. Rather than send official emissaries to deliver important messages, God now seems to be happy with a more cryptic communication strategy. The signs are often subtle, but to true believers they are as clear as day. Sinners, repent! Here are eight times that God has appeared in our food.
1. In this pizza
When Brisbane-based Italian eatery “Posh Pizza” first opened its doors, it had no intention of becoming a conduit for the Lord’s grace. But, when the man upstairs comes calling, it’s impossible to ignore. As you can clearly see, this three cheese pizza contains the rather angry visage of JC himself. Apparently whatever message he had for the chef was not good news.
2. In this Cheeto
More so than most fatty snacks, Cheetos seem to be a particular favourite of the Almighty. Over the years, his followers have found all sorts of orange dust covered religious imagery, but for our money, this depiction of Jesus on the cross gets our vote for most sacred.
3. In this frying pan
Sometimes, the Lord only reveals himself after great suffering. If the amount of carbonised food clinging to the bottom of this pan proves anything, it’s that whatever was cooked in it suffered a great deal.
4. In this Marmite jar
Marmite is a lot like religion, in that you’ll either love it or hate it. Once you’ve seen the light, however, it’s impossible to look away. When Claire Allen found the face of our Lord and saviour in the lid of her old Marmite jar, it finally erased any doubts that yeast extract is the most holy of all the morning spreads.
5. In this banana
When Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were busy writing about the bread and wine at the last supper, they clearly forgot to include the segment about Jesus’ favourite fruit. As this banana peel, discovered by Lisa Swinton in 2009, definitively proves, JC was a big believer in a potassium heavy diet.
6. In this grilled cheese
When you’re feeling particularly down, a cheese toastie can feel like your only salvation. As ever, Jesus is eager to show us that there is another way. This vision appeared in the afternoon snack of Linda Lowe, proving that the Lord doesn’t just stick to traditional mealtimes for message delivery.
7. In this pierogi
Receiving a gift from God is not something to be taken lightly. As the tale of the merchants and money lenders in the temple tells us, Jesus wasn’t a big fan of coupling religion and profit. Which makes this woman’s decision to sell this God-embossed pierogi dumpling for £2,000 all the more questionable.
8. This other grilled cheese
The questionable morals of the previous pierogi incident pale into insignificance when compared to this ultimate act of blasphemy from a Florida woman. In 2004, she sold this piece of grilled cheese, complete with the Virgin Mary, to an internet cafe for an enormous $28,000. How Jesus would have felt about his mother being used in such a way doesn’t bear thinking about.
As this collection proves, God can find us when we least expect it. This means that the faithful need to keep their eyes peeled at all times. Equally, if the last two entries are anything to go by, the greedy can potentially make a quick buck with relative ease. It all depends who gets there first.