In the never ending battle between the heavyweights of fast food, two icons stand head and shoulders above everything else. You can talk up tacos, kebabs and chicken until you’re blue in the face, but there’s little doubt that the daddies of junk are and always will be burgers and pizza.
When you’re of a mind for something seriously indulgent and bad for you, choosing between these two distinct, delicious dishes can cause something of a headache. Do you go for the handheld, chargrilled convenience of a greasy, meaty sandwich, or do you instead opt for a big doughy disk, covered in tangy tomato and melted cheese? It’s choices like these that can make or break a Saturday night curled up on the sofa with a terrible movie.
Fortunately, takeaway lovers across the land can now relax and rejoice. Thanks to the ambitious and inspired folk at Domino’s Pizza, confused orderers everywhere can now enjoy both burger and pizza at the same time. Behold, the all new cheeseburger pizza. And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept - for there were no more worlds to conquer.
Judging by the press release photos, this new calorific behemoth has everything you would want from a proper burger, and with a whole lot more besides. Sitting astride Domino’s classic thin crust and tomato sauce, the pizza piles ground beef, pickled gherkins, sliced tomatoes and a generous slathering of thick, yellow burger sauce. This is, of course, topped off with a liberal sprinkling of mozzarella.
As will surprise no one who is even slightly familiar with Domino’s previous work, the new menu item comes complete with its own sizable collection of calories. Just one slice packs a whopping 211, adding up to a grand total of nearly 1700 in every large, eight-slice pizza. Clearly, this is not an eating challenge to undertake lightly, or possibly even alone.
That being said, if the reaction from the internet is anything to go by, you may struggle to find someone else willing to through down the gauntlet and join you in battle against this fast food Frankenstein. While one member of the Twitterati enthusiastically declared “Cheeseburger pizza has pickles on it. Game changer. It’s delicious,” another complained “are we really still concerned with pineapple on pizza while people are over here thinking it’s okay to put some damn pickles on cheeseburger pizza?” It’s obvious from these early reactions that Domino’s new pie promises to be nothing if not polarising.
Regardless whether or not you think that cheeseburger pizzas are an inherently terrible or terri-brill idea, any true junk food fanatic can’t help but feel their enthusiasm peaked by the prospect of something this mind bending. According to The Metro, “The pizza, which costs £13.99 for a small, £15.99 for a medium and £17.99 for a large, is now available from all 1,042 Domino’s stores” across the UK. Ultimately, this means that none of us have any excuse not to try it. Horrible idea, or stroke of genius? You be the judge.