When we’re hungry, we’re at out most stupid. I know I am. When your stomach starts rumbling and the hunger cravings come on strong, it’s all too easy to jettison all common sense and just start munching on whatever you can get your hands on. Sometimes this can lead to experimentation in the kitchen; when you’re starving and only have limited materials to work with you can create some really weird and wonderful dishes. Necessity is the mother of invention.
But on the flip side, this state of mind can also lead to many insane accidents, or just plain human stupidity. People do, knowingly or unknowingly, ingest strange stuff all the time. Don’t believe me? Here’s our comprehensive list of some of the most bizarre things people have ever swallowed. Caution: this article is a choking hazard.
1. Glow stick fluid
“I put half of a glowstick in my mouth to crack it, and ended up bursting the whole thing. I think my pee glowed for a little after that?”
2. A 2000-year-old corpse
“I once accidentally swallowed bone dust from a 2,000-year-old individual while analysing an archaeological site in college. It was not appropriate.”
3. Pins in soda
“I was sewing and had straight pins held between my lips. For a brief ‘duh’ moment, I took a drink of soda and swallowed three pins. Went to the ER and one had to be removed because it was stuck in my throat but the other two passed — very uncomfortably.”
4. Human urine
“We were partying at my parents’ house and the next morning I woke up with the hangover thirst from hell, so I went for a two-litre bottle of Sprite. Got a good way through chugging it before realising it was not Sprite, but pee. Nasty liquor-laden pee. On a dry, hungover, and queasy palette. Many years later, I still feel unclean.”
5. Cat litter vomited up by a dog
6. A dentist’s tool
“I was having a cavity filled and the dental assistant had a clamp on my tooth. Somehow the clamp popped off and went right down my throat! The receptionist drove me to the hospital because I was dropped off at the dentist. By the time I went for X-rays you could see it was in the area between my breasts and needed to be surgically removed!”
7. A retainer
“I swallowed my retainer in middle school. I woke up in the middle of the night with chest pain and told my parents, but they wrote it off because I had been coughing a lot. The next day we tore my room apart looking for the retainer. I ended up getting an X-ray and there it was, chilling in my large intestine.”
8. A septum piercing
“I was hooking up with a guy and my septum ring slipped out and into the back of my throat, where I swallowed it. It felt like it was caught in my throat, but he wouldn’t take me to the hospital so my best friend took me. I couldn’t come up with a good lie and had to awkwardly explain how it happened to every nurse and doctor in the hospital. My mom still shows this picture to everyone.”
9. A micro SD-card
“I keep music for work on a micro SD card, and one day I put it with my pills in a small container. That night I took the pills and went to sleep. Didn’t realise until the next day, when I wanted to listen to music, that I had swallowed the SD card! Went to the doctor, they did an X-ray and sure enough it was there! It came out two days later and after a thorough cleaning, continued to work!”
10. A pair of earplugs
“My neighbours are super loud and I’m a light sleeper, so I sleep with earplugs. One night I woke up, but I was half-asleep — one of the earplugs had fallen out so I picked it up and just swallowed it then passed back out. The next morning I vaguely remembered swallowing it, but couldn’t figure out whether it was a dream until I pooped a floating earplug.”
Gross right? Eugh. Well, at least you can seek solace from the fact that you will never ever swallow anything as gross as the examples above (probably). After all, there are much better things you can put in your mouth. Like this 100-pound burger.