The link between rabbits, chocolate and the resurrection of Jesus has always been slightly obscure. While it’s always nice to have an excuse to eat obscene amounts of candy, it’s less clear whether this is exactly what our Lord and saviour intended when he went to all the trouble of coming back from the dead.
In fact, this year has raised the horrible possibility that our chocolate obsession may actually be more satanic than sacred, thanks to one seriously disturbing Easter treat. Channelling their inner demons, the bakers at beloved British supermarket M&S have designed a seasonal riff on the classic “Colin the Caterpillar” sponge that looks less like a friendly insect and more like a bloodthirsty hell bunny. Shoppers, be warned. The power of cake compels you.
The cake in question follows the basic Colin blueprint of chocolate sponge, sticky sweet filling and a hard shell of chocolate icing, decorated with bright orange carrots and lurid sugary disks. It’s the face that seems to be the real issue.
Instead of the happy, smiling larvae that generations of M&S shoppers have come to know and love, the new design features a disturbing ghostly rabbit face chiselled from white chocolate and looking like the head of Thumper’s reanimated corpse.
Not only do the features look like they belong in Satan’s personal hutch, but they are attached to a caterpillar’s fat cylindrical body and supplemented by six separate feet. The finished cake looks like a rejected storyboard for The Human Centipede.
Check out our recipe for delicious Ice Cube Easter Truffles:
Understandably, the internet has been quick to ridicule the horror show. As one traumatised Facebook user wrote on the Extreme Couponing and Bargains UK group, the dessert "Looks like the bunny from ‘Donnie Darko’. They should save it for Halloween, it looks demonic."
Fortunately, the new design will not be available until the 31st of March, giving Brits plenty of time to ready the holy water. We can only recommend that shoppers don’t leave their crucifix at home when they do head to the highstreet.