If you ever need to be reminded of just how weird humanity can be, it’s well worth taking the time to dive into the murky depths of Reddit. The social site has an almost unparalleled collection of strange confessions, unbelievable true stories and peculiar pearls of wisdom that touch every subject under the sun. Food is, obviously, a key part of the collection.
Reddit’s capacity for the curious, society’s mixed feelings towards eating and the outright odd festival of Halloween is one of the most combustible mixtures on the site. Seeing the unusual things that people do with something as supposedly innocent as candy is both eye opening and alarming. Whatever you receive in your trick-or-treat bag this year, just be thankful it wasn’t something from this list.
1. Jehovah’s Witness Pamphlet
They say there ain’t rest for the wicked - apparently the same goes for the overly godly. User “poorconnection” reported that they received the advisory slip of paper from “a nice lady, along with a Snickers”. They also add that they kept the Snickers. Isn’t that what Halloween is all about?
2. Jack Chick Tracts
Halloween is apparently seen as something of a boon in the Christian community. Not content with placating the blasphemous with sugary treats, a now deleted user reveals that some religious observers offered these infamously evangelical cartoons as a means of converting elaborately dressed up children. Whether or not it worked remains unclear.
3. Chicken wings
Typically, what makes Halloween food so convenient is the way in which multiple different snacks can be harvested and then stored all together, without any one ruining the rest. This plan for mass sweet transportation becomes somewhat unstuck when you come across someone offering whole roasted chicken wings. Though doubtless delicious, it seems unlikely that they would pair particularly well with unwrapped chocolate.
When you’re a member of the medical community, you never really get a day off. For dentists, a candy-filled evening solely dedicated to the thing they spend their entire career fighting against must be enough to give even the staunchest members of their profession nightmares. This must have been what prompted “ProBlackmagic’s” neighbour to hand out “toothbrushes and toothpaste”.
5. An Onion
Not everyone likes to get into the halloween spirit. For every generous neighbour, you’re just as likely to come across a spooky grinch, intent on ruining everyone’s evening. “MasterOfLegendz” discovered this to his cost when he was the unlucky recipient of an acrid white bulb, instead of something sweet.
6. A Rock
Some people would have you believe that older generations were a whole lot more generous than we are today. As user :”alsasalsa” points out, this couldn’t be further from the truth. As she reports, “When my mom was a kid she got a rock wrapped in tin foil... she didn't know what it was and was so excited to open it when she got home... only to find out it was a rock :(.”
7. A Tooth
We’ve all heard about the risks posed to oral hygiene by overly-sugared foods, but this gift might take the warning a little too literally. After user “Secrety_psycho” met “just some random guy handing out a f**king tooth”, he presumably became less enamoured with the trick or treating concept. Maybe that was the plan all along.
We’ve all heard horrible urban legends of razor blades and needles lodged inside unwrapped candy bars, but it turns out that that’s just the tip of the weird iceberg. If you scratch below the surface, all sorts of strange stories start to come to light.