Are you bored of enjoying the taste of alcohol? Have you wondered what it would be like be sick at the start, rather than the end of a night? Do you fancy waking up in a cold sweat, stomach churning and bottom clamped after making one of the worst mistakes of your life? Then have we got a list for you!
For the sadistic alcoholic in all of us, here is the definitive collection of absolutely the most disgusting, confusing and alarming shots that you can order at a bar. If you feel like punishing a close friend, or possibly yourself, then look no further. Just try not to throw up.
8. Liquid Steak
Unless it’s being served by Heston Blumenthal, meat that you can drink should be left well alone. This delightful combo contains 50ml of Bacardi 151, alongside a liberal splash of Worcestershire sauce. If the name doesn’t put you off, the taste certainly will.
7. Smoker’s Cough
This drink both looks and tastes like a shot of milky coffee that was left under a radiator for several weeks. Made by mixing 50ml of Jagermeister with a teaspoon of warm mayonnaise, the Smoker’s Cough combines strong phlegmy notes, with just a hint of emphysema.
6. The Tapeworm
If you’re on the hunt for something horrible, adding mayo to a drink is a good place to start. Named after an infamous 15ft long parasite, this shot features vodka, hot sauce and egg in one of the most hideous looking drinks since Steve-O drank Preston’s arse sweat in Jackass 3D.
5. Infected Whitehead
Possibly an even less delightful image than the harrowing smoker’s cough, even looking at this drink is enough to test the strongest of gag reflexes. Brave/idiotic drinkers can mix one part vodka with one part bloody mary mix before topping with a swirl of cottage cheese.
4. The Cement Mixer
Though no one wants to go to a bar and get a science lesson, the cement mixer is a textbook demonstration of what can happen when citrus meets milk. Take one part Bailey’s Irish cream and one part lime juice, drink the two separately and combine in your mouth. Then sit back in astonishment as the liquid turns into what feels like alcoholic modelling clay before you swallow.
3. Prairie Oyster
If you haven’t the time to whip up an eggy emulsion for your horrible drink, you can always skip the mayo middleman. The prairie oyster is living proof that raw eggs are nothing more or less than pure evil. Bourbon, tabasco and the aforementioned yolk are poured into a shot glass and downed in one.
2. The Eggermeister
Whether a pickled egg is worse than a raw one is a debate for another day. What is in little doubt is that a pickled egg mixed with Jagermeister is one of the most abominable ideas in the history of man.
1. New Jersey Turnpike
Though the rest of this list is clearly terrible, none thus far have provided a genuine health hazard. Step forward the New Jersey Turnpike. There is no recipe for this insult to food and drink. Simply take the damp bar mat at the first dive you can find and wring it into a glass. Bottoms up and infectious diseases be damned!
No one ever really enjoys doing shots. Nonetheless, there is always a bit of a thrill from drinking something relatively unpleasant. These drinks, on the other hand, will do nothing more or less than cause untold suffering for anyone daft enough to drink them. We pray for your sake that no one tries these at home.