Anyone who’s woken up in a pool vomit with a head that feels like a bursting balloon understands exactly why some people are willing to do whatever it takes to kick a hangover. The situation on a Saturday or Sunday morning can sometimes seem so desperate that stuff that would normally be socially unacceptable becomes routine. Massive one-man fry ups. Vast quantities of Lucozade. More alcohol. These methods and many more besides all become an awesome idea in your hour of need.
If you take a look beyond the traditional techniques for an anti-alcohol remedy, there are a few ways to get creative with your morning afters. Practised all around the world, some of these methods might seem a little unorthodox, but people still swear that they get the job done. Prepare for the path to hangover salvation. Here are the world’s eight weirdest hangover cures.
The second most worrying thing about Namibia’s national hangover cure is that it’s called “Buffalo Milk”. The most worrying is that it doesn’t actually involve any buffalos. Instead a mixture of clotted cream, two types of rum, cream liqueur and heavy cream are all mixed together in a big bucket. Not one for the lactose intolerant.
You might think that traditional Italian foods like pasta and pizza lend themselves remarkably well to the subtle art of the hangover cure. Weirdly, Italians themselves don’t seem to agree. Instead, a traditional Sicilian remedy requires chewing on a dried bull’s penis in order to restore your virility.
3. Puerto Rico
While most odd cures require eating or drinking something strange, Puerto Ricans supposedly adopt a much more hands on approach. Well prepared Puerto Rican drinkers can ready themselves for a night on the town by rubbing a wedge of lemon or lime under their armpit, in order to prevent dehydration. Unsurprisingly, the science on this is sketchy at best.
Given that Ireland is famously full of serious drinkers, it should come as little surprise that they’ve spent significant time considering some creative cures. According to legend, the least comfortable of these involves burying yourself up to your neck in wet river sand. Given how cold and miserable Ireland is most of the time, we can categorically say that this would suck.
Normally, you only have yourself to blame for an alcohol induced illness. However, in Haiti, the people don’t see it that way. According to Haitian voodoo tradition, the best remedy is to stick 13 black pins in the cork from the bottle that did you so much damage. Despite probably being extremely satisfying, this feels distinctly like passing the buck.
While most hangover cures aren’t an environmental catastrophe, there are exceptions - Vietnam’s being a notable one. In some corners of the country, it is believed that ground up and boiled rhino horn is a panacea, and can cure everything from cancer to an alcoholic headache. Unfortunately, this practise is the leading cause of rhino poaching worldwide.
When you’re feeling ropey, the last thing you want is something stomach churning. Mongolians, apparently, are made of sterner stuff. After a night on the town, the ultimate traditional remedy involves a cocktail of tomato juice and pickled sheep eyes. If ever there was a reason to avoid overindulging in Asia, this is surely it.
Long before college kids were busy trying to disguise the evidence of their misdeeds, Native Americans had their own radical attitude to hangovers. Some say that, after a heavy night, the best thing to do is to run, build up a sweat, lick the sweat off your arms and spit it out onto the ground. This will remove the “poison”, and allow you to carry on your day as normal.
As the evidence suggests, there is no “right” way to cure a hangover. Sometimes, it’s just a gut feeling of what works for you. If this list proves anything, it’s that there are literally thousands of different ways to approach this particular problem. Just don’t be afraid to think outside the box.