Whoever’s decision it was to make Halloween the season where almost anything can become “sexy” has a lot to answer for. Over the years, revellers have been able to attend parties dressed as anything from sexy Harambe to a sexy carrot. Sexy, in this context, is clearly very objective. However, despite stiff historical competition, costume designers in 2019 may well have managed to take things to soaring new heights of weirdness.
Yandy, an online retailer whose entire business model seems to be based around satisfying some of the most niche kinks on the planet, have recently released a new addition to their extensive costume line-up. Alongside the likes of “sexy tater tot” and “sexy gin bottle”, the lingerie specialists now offer their clientele a “sexy" plant-based burger get up. Try not to get too excited.
According to the description on Yandy’s website:
“You may think this is impossible, but it's not! Be the yummiest artificial patty between buns in this exclusive Beyond Burger costume featuring a tan tube dress with a speckled bust seed print, a ruffled lettuce trim with a burger patty print, a ruched bust and skirt, a curve-hugging fit, and a matching headband with PLANT BASED printed on a red flag with a brown puff accent.”
Watch as Cornelia Taste Tests McDonald's First Vegan Burger:
Whether or not the costume is an official collaboration with highly successful alternative meat-makers Beyond is unclear. However, the costume is far from the only explicitly plant-based option for horny vegans. Yandy are also stocking a “cauliflower pizza” costume, which the company describes in the following alluring tones:
“Dreaming of carb heaven without the calories? Crust me, this one's worth it. Top off your look with this exclusive Cauliflower Pizza costume featuring a tan suede tank dress with a square neckline, a pizza print with basil, mushrooms and tomatoes, a thick crust collar with an open center, a concealed back zipper, and a matching headband with a PLANT BASED red flag and a brown puff accent.”
It may only be the end of September, but there are clearly plenty of reasons to feel a sense of trepidation about October 31st.