Amazon is selling a 5-liter keg of Pornstar Martini you can have delivered to your door

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The outside world is growing more uncertain every day, and with many of us self-isolating in nationwide lockdowns, it can be difficult to want to celebrate occasions that you normally would.

However, despite the current global situation, many of us still have big events to look forward to - and I encourage all of you to continue to celebrate the things you love.

Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, and Thursdays (yes, I celebrate Thursdays) are still going ahead - but with the pubs and bars shut, you've just got to think on your feet and bring the party to your front door.

Related - This woman could definitely use a drink after her father interrupted her news broadcast from home:

And that's where Amazon comes in.

While you're stuck in "quarantini", why not enjoy a few pornstar martinis? And when I say "a few", I mean an entire keg-full.

Credit: Amazon/Giraffe Cocktails

Available on Amazon from Giraffe Cocktails, they are selling a five-liter keg of what they describe as " one of the nation’s favorite contemporary cocktails". And at 8% ABV, this passionfruit infused drink sure to pack a punch.

This quarantine treat costs £99.99 (plus £5 for delivery), but at 31 servings per keg, that works out at just £3.22 per cocktail (which, compared to London prices, is an absolute bargain). Oh, and don't forget to have your ID on show when it arrives.

But Giraffe Cocktails didn't stop there. You see, my wife is more of a pornstar martini gal, whereas I prefer a silky-smooth espresso martini. Well, Giraffe Cocktails has also got my back.


espresso martini keg Credit: Amazon

The alcoholic vat, which is currently available on Amazon, is described as "a perfect gift for all coffee lovers", and "ideal for all occasions". Featuring a "Rich blend of coffee finished with premium vodka", the self-tapped 5L keg certainly offers an unorthodox way to cope with a crisis (and by that, I do actually mean my marriage). 

Each barrel, which contains 11% ABV, is allegedly "a perfect size keg for a fridge", and comes with 35 servings of espresso martini. Retailing for £110, the giant container ultimately works out as about £3.15 per serving - definite value for money if you consider some exorbitant cocktail prices.

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