Cheese slice goes viral after university student uses it as a bookmark

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A plastic-wrapped piece of burger cheese has gone viral this week after a British university found that it was being used as a bookmark. The mysterious slice was discovered by irritated librarians at Liverpool University, who understandably took a dim view of the affair. No one has yet been able to confirm whether it was found in a copy of War and Bries.

The story gained traction after the official University of Liverpool Library Twitter account posted a photo of the offending dairy, accompanied by the caption self-evident caption, “this is not a bookmark”. Judging by the spiky response, cheddars are expected to roll. 

The story of the discovery was fleshed out by the BBC, who spoke to Associate director Alex Widdeson in the aftermath of the incident. According to their report, she described it as "disconcertingly warm and liquid," and sandwiched "somewhere between American history and geography." 

Widdeson went on to reveal that the unfortunate employee who made the discovery was “a mix of amused and disgusted," adding that she wasn’t "sure even the mice would have been interested." One can only imagine what a paneer it was to decontaminate the book afterwards.

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Shockingly, Widdeson also revealed that incidents of this nature are not as uncommon as you might expect. As she explained to the BBC:

"A few years ago, we had the 'shelf-wich', a sandwich wrapper that was being used as a bookend, and it's not uncommon to find satsumas on our computers."

Predictably, people seemed far less interested in the hideous crime than they were with the number of puns that were presenting themselves. One Twitterer wondered “how anyone could fondue such a thing,” while another suggested that the book had been loaned out to a Mr “Gordon Zola.” Clearly, no one has any respect for the rule of mozzarellaw.