It's summer, that magical time of year when you go to the beach, bask in the sun and listen to the howling screams of teenagers getting devoured by sharks. But what's the perfect boozy drink for this paradise? Mayonnaise jagermeister shots, baby mice wine and cans of Busch Light just don't feel appropriate for this rosy time of year.
Well, don't despair, beach bums! Malibu's got your sunburnt, peeling back. The company recently launched a mouth-watering new bottled cocktail called Malibu Strawberry Spritz. The fizzy strawberry and coconut flavoured beverage comes in 750ml bottles, perfect for sharing with your friends, while you talk smack about Karen. Oh, Karen. That succubus. She is the worst.
Unfortunately, this product is only available in the UK right now, exclusively at the grocery chain Tesco, which is an unspeakable outrage. Why isn't it available in the USA - the greatest country in the world, but not in terms of education, health care and happiness? We need to drink the most, you monsters!
"Summer is a key time for the Malibu brand as its target consumer looks for Instagrammable, sweet, yet refreshing drinks to enjoy during social occasions," Pernord Ricard UK marketing director Philip Ainsworth gushed in a press release, just to infuriate Americans. "Malibu Strawberry Spritz provides an additional element of theatre as it can be popped like a bottle of Prosecco yet enjoyed and garnished like a pink gin and tonic." Must be nice!
Well, Malibu posted a recipe for a similar cocktail on their US website, so you can make your own version. It's not convenient, but at least you'll have the perfect drink to sip on the beach. The refreshing taste of strawberry-coconut, the warm rays of sunshine, the screams of teenagers attacked by sharks. You gotta love summer!