When it becomes clear how stressful weddings can be, one wonders why anyone would ever bother getting married. Between drunk relatives, terrible speeches and the off chance of being jilted in front of everyone you know, very few other social events offer quite the same anxiety-inducing cocktail of possibilities. You’re much better off staying alone, forever.
As if we needed another reason to avoid matrimony, a story has emerged this week from the dark depths of the internet to prove that weddings are and always will be way more hassle than they’re worth. A subreddit, Christened with the catchy caption “This lady banned all non-vegans from her wedding, including family and bridal party,” told the extraordinary story of a woman who, as the title implies, barred any meateaters from attending her big day. A quick scan of the content is all you need to tell you that she wasn’t joking.
In a wide ranging rant, screenshotted from a Facebook post to the subtly named group, “VEGAN REVOLUTION”, the unnamed woman revealed how "Some family members were told they were not invited to my wedding because we don't want to host murderers." Unsurprisingly, the reaction was immediate and deeply divided.
While the mysterious woman did receive some token gestures of support, many on the subreddit - including vegans - were quick to denounce the policy. One commenter revealed that they had “Got married in November and it was completely vegan (sic). We had candy, pie, coffee, tea, and non-dairy creamer...Nobody complained. It's good food. We wanted to celebrate our marriage while remaining true to our lifestyle. Banning non-vegans is insane and belongs on this sub. I just wanted to clarify the person is insane and not the ideology.” Another simply declared the whole situation as “bordering on absurd”.
Perhaps due to the backlash from the original post, the bride soon added a hastily constructed addendum. She described how her family "have consistently attacked me and my partner just for being vegan but when it comes to my wedding, they want to be all buddy buddy with me again.” She went on to add that, "I don't want the weight of having people that still kill animals (the very beings we are trying to protect) at my wedding on my conscience."
Despite the attempted justification, public opinion remains decidedly split on whether someone’s opinion on meat is cause enough to ban them. On the one hand, it’s obviously the couple’s prerogative to decide who they do and do not want at their wedding. On the other, it doesn’t seem like the most progressive attitude to intolerance to just blanket ban anyone who might disagree with you.
Even after several attempts from different publications, the identity of the animal-loving bride has not yet been unearthed. Whether or not she caved to familial pressure, or stayed firm and refused to admit anyone who had had so much as a sniff of a leather jacket remains to be seen. Disregarding where you stand on the overall debate, the story makes one thing abundantly clear: weddings should be avoided at all costs.