Revenge is a dish best served gummy and phallus-shaped...
I'm not going to lie to you; I hold a pretty mean grudge. I have a long list of people that have wronged me over the course of my 28 years on this planet, and I have been slowly but surely plotting to have vengeance and claim retribution... in the most immature way possible.
Thankfully, I have found the perfect solution.
Thanks to an Esty store called ShipABagofDicks (who really do exactly as the name suggests), you can anonymously send a bag of gummy d**ks to somebody you don't like. No questions asked.
Per the store's product description:
"The Original Bag Of D**ks. Our package is the BIGGEST Bag Of D**ks available anywhere! Our competition uses tiny, tasteless d**ks. Their Bag Of D**ks is barely half the size of ours. Your friend or enemy deserves better. They deserve our big, juicy, mouth-watering gummy d**ks. Over 200 5 star reviews speak for themselves! Get the most bang for your buck with our dicks. Sent 100% Anonymously, Satisfaction Guaranteed. Tell your friend or enemy to EAT A BAG OF D**KS!"
And the five-star reviews really do speak for themselves (and give you a real insight into the minds of some Etsy shoppers...).
Satisfied customer Stephanie Smith writes: "Some a**hole hacked my Walmart account. They changed my address to their own, so I sent them a bag of dicks. Best money I've ever spent!"
And one customer named Sabrina wrote: "Too funny! My brother received them and didn't have a clue who sent them"
And a vengeful Tressa Cincotta also gave the product five stars, writing: "I cannot wait to give this to my buddy at work who dared to find another job! Shipped quickly & packaged well. Thanks!"
One bag costs just £7.05 ($9.14 USD) plus shipping, making it a bargain price for some tasty revenge.
So it doesn't matter if it's an enemy, an ex, a family member, or a friend who just deserves a bag full of d**ks - you now know that when you tell somebody to "Eat d**ks", they can expect a package in the post.
This article originally appeared on VT.co