A farmer is selling giant avocados that weigh as much as a baby

Twisted: Unserious food tastes seriously good.

If you ever end up trapped in a millennial vegan’s foodie wet dream, you may find yourself face to face with all sorts of unusual ingredients. There will be plant-based cheese that doesn’t taste like the amalgamated scrapings from a hiker’s bunyan. The world will be in raptures about the Impossible Burger. Avocados the size of a small dog will provide ample opportunity for endless bougie breakfasts. Then you’d wake up to the real world of Stella McCartney’s disappointing sausages.

Whatever we like to eat, we’re all allowed to indulge in the occasional flight of fancy. However, thanks to the efforts of a Hawaiian farmer, at least one part of the aforementioned fantasy is now reality. Through a combination of clever breeding and loving care, Kenji Fukumitsu and his family have managed to produce giant avocados that weigh as much as a newborn baby. Brunch will never be the same.

On his property in Hōlualoa, Mr Fukumitsu has dedicated much of the last 80 years tending to a single avocado tree in his back garden. Originally grafted by his elder brother back in 1941, the tree has been producing its remarkable fruit for over eight decades, though it has only recently become clear just how unique it actually is.

According to a report from Big Island News, the tree was at one point almost an inconvenience to Mr Fukumitsu and his family. In an interview with the local broadcaster, he revealed that, “We had so much, all falling down, and the pigs eating it…I share them with some of our friends.” He also added that, “If you eat it during November month, they’re very watery. But after that, it’s good.”

The fruit was first brought to the world’s attention by Dr Joy McElroy of the nearby Urgent Care of Kona medical centre. As an act of charity, Mr Fukumitsu has been bringing his excess fruit to those in need at the facility for years, mostly without anyone remarking on their unusual size. It was Dr McElroy who decided to do some digging to discover whether everyone’s avocados needed to be picked up with two hands.

Also speaking to Big Island News, McElroy revealed that, “Every month or so we would hear a big clunk, and there’s a bag or a box of at least 20 or 30 avocados. At least 6lbs each, even bigger. And it occurred to us that this is not normal. This is very special.” She then decided to look up the avocado world record, and was pleased to discover that Fukumitsu’s avocados are in a category all of their own.

According to Guinness, the current world record holder was unearthed in 2018 by another Hawaiian, Felicidad Pasalo. Pasalo’s discovery shocked the world with its total weight of 5lbs 8oz, but the general consensus is that Fukumitsu’s crop is certain to take the title.

They might now be world famous, but questions still remain over the enormous avos. Though there is no doubting their authenticity, it seems everyone is stumped over how the fruits get so large in the first place. Even Fukumitsu himself only answered with a shrug and a “I don’t know” when asked about his secret. There are somethings, clearly, that man is just not meant to understand.