Aldi have just released square sausages

Twisted: Unserious food tastes seriously good.

There are a few rules that you should have to stick to if you’re interested in making sausages. The first is that at least some of what you put in them should remain a complete mystery, even to you. The second is that they should, obviously, be sausage shaped. When a food is synonymous with being stuffed and cylindrical, serving anything else is always going to cause a fuss. Mess with something this delicious at your peril.

It should therefore surprise no one to learn that Aldi’s latest attempt to turn traditional sausage design on its head has had a mixed response. The controversy centres around the supermarket’s claims that they have invented an all new square sausage – ideal for slotting into sandwiches and buns. The product, which they have dubbed the “sausedge”, is currently available in 340g packs of four, and retails for £1.79.

Reactions have ranged from excitement to outrage. As reported in The Metro, one publication declared the sausedge a work of “genius”, whilst many have taken to Twitter to voice their support. The Fry Up Police account quickly tweeted a photo asking their audience “who loves a square sausage?” which soon generated a flood of positive comments.

Others were less enthusiastic. Sam Archer replied to the Fry Up Police tweet declaring that “If it’s square…it’s not a sausage.” However, the most visceral contempt was directed not by those who disagreed with the shape, but by those who couldn’t believe that Aldi were taking credit for inventing the square sausage in the first place. In almost every instance, these reactions came from Scotland.

It turns out that, unlike the rest of planet earth, Scotland has been enjoying square sausages for centuries. Also known as a Lorne sausage, the square patties are in irreplaceable part of a traditional Scottish breakfast and can be found anywhere north of the border. This, apparently, was news to Aldi.

After the supermarket appeared to be taking credit for an integral part of edible national identity, proud Scots took to Twitter to voice their disapproval. One clip, captioned “Aldi have invented a SQUARE SAUSAGE? AM RAGING ???”, features a Scottish woman loudly and emphatically voicing her disappointment with the claim and has now been seen almost 40,000 times. Media publications, including The National, also weighed in on the debate. Before long, it was obvious that claims of “invention” may have been a little premature.

Whether square sausages are in and of themselves a problem is, it seems, a debate for another day. What is clear is that, if you think you’ve come up with a new food concept, it’s always best to double and triple check. You don’t want to end up angering an entire nation over sausages.