Artist who makes sculptures from poo announces “mysterious” plans for a piece of Trump’s wedding cake

Twisted: Unserious food tastes seriously good.

When Donald Trump married Melania Knauss way back in 2005, there’s no way anyone could have known that, more than a decade later, we’d still be talking about their wedding cake. Unfortunately, recent political history has had other ideas. Now, we’re all way more interested in the banal details of the couple’s lives than we have any right to be. This interest, apparently, applies to everyone from investigators at the FBI, to artists who have a penchant for human bodily functions.

When it was announced last month that a piece of Donald Trump’s wedding cake was being put up for sale at a Bostonian auctioneers, the world rekindled its interest in the gawdy details of the ceremony. It was revealed that, for anywhere between $200 and $2,000, one lucky punter could become the lucky owner of a 14-year-old chocolate truffle cake, complete with a sugar-spun rose, gold flakes and a monogramed gilded box. The highest bidder could join the likes of Bill and Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani and P. Diddy as a cake recipient. This idea apparently appealed to one very particular artist.

Andres Serrano is no ordinary creative. Famous for designing the album covers for Metallica’s disappointing “Load” and “ReLoad” records, Serrano has spent nearly 50 years photographing and capturing subjects in inventive and often controversial ways. He is, for instance, notorious for using everything from blood, to semen, to human faeces as a medium for expressing himself. Arguably Serrano’s most contentious work, which features a crucifix submerged in a glass of his own urine, is aptly named “Piss Christ”. Other titles include “Piss and Blood” and “Blood and Semen III”. His names rarely leave much to the imagination.

On top of his imaginative uses for human waste, Serrano has also made a name as a highly regarded photographer. His subjects have included Klansman, burn victims and the homeless. He has also focused on Trump for a special series back in 2004 as part of a series entitled “America” – though this previous portrait was an unusually restrained piece which made POTUS 45 look more like a quizzical flamingo than anything more sinister.

However, news this week suggests that Serrano’s opinion of Trump may well have shifted since 2004. The artist made a successful bid of $1,880 for the old cake, making him the current proud owner of a piece of American history. Given his record for irreverence, right-wing Trump sympathisers could be forgiven for holding their breath over what could come next.  

When asked directly about his intentions towards his new cake, Serrano was typically oblique. Acting on his prerogative to play the part of “aloof auteur”, he stated that “Artists work in mysterious ways — you never know what they’re up to! I don’t like to talk about things until I’m ready to talk.” Given that he has already drowned Jesus Christ in his own urine, we dread to think what he may have in store for the infinitely more controversial President of the United States.