Horrified man finds insects embedded in “disgusting” breakfast roll

Twisted: Unserious food tastes seriously good.

Eating before you fly can be an important part of pre-travel preparation. Eating fly, however, is generally seen as an unorthodox way to behave in an airport. Nonetheless, this was exactly the situation that faced a disgruntled holiday-maker in Dublin Airport this week, after he discovered his breakfast roll had been infused with the crushed corpses of two unidentified insects.

Martin Warde, an Irish stand-up comedian, shared his horror story on Twitter, posting a picture of the offending sandwich with the caption, “Just bought this breakfast roll in the shop at terminal 1 at Dublin Airport. Why are there two weird looking insects stuck to it? F**king disgusting.” When the internet questioned how he could have failed to spot the unwanted extras earlier, Warde added, “Look guys, it was disgusting to find, but I was on the bus by the time I found them.”

However, despite his apparent unhappiness at unearthing his breakfast’s unwanted inhabitants, Warde soon got over the shock. In a later response to his original tweet, he declared, “They look like they were mid throws of love making too, lucky little s***s. Anyway, I’m on a protein rich diet and you wouldn’t complain if a barman accidentally gave you an extra pint.” He went on to confirm that “I ate them.”

When asked to pontificate over how the bugs could have been smushed into his crust, Warde posited to Dublin Live that it looked as though it may have been used as a weapon with which “to swat two flies that may have been on a counter”. He also revealed that he has “eaten much worse” in his time, perhaps explaining his lack of squeamishness over eating a sandwich that was as buggy as it was bready.

In response to Mr Warde’s complaint, Dublin Airport confirmed that they were taking the incident “very seriously”. In a lengthy statement, authorities revealed that “We have contacted Mr Warde, apologised for the unacceptable experience that he had at one of the food outlets here, and sought further information from him to help us investigate the issue. We have raised the issue with the company that operates the outlet in question and it has also apologised to Mr Warde directly. The company has confirmed that the issue did not arise within its Dublin Airport outlet, as its bread rolls are sourced externally. The company is investigating this incident with its supplier and will report back to Mr Warde and to Dublin Airport officials in due course.”

Though the idea of unwanted insects in sandwiches is obviously troubling, the incident doesn’t seem to have had any adverse effects on Mr Warde. In fact, when pressed for comment, he revealed that his only regret was that the restaurant responsible failed to ask “if (he’d) like flies with that.” He went on to add that he felt, “They missed a trick there”. Clearly in the heat of the moment, the opportunity for puns came and went. Time flies when you work in an airport.