KFC have started offering customers haircuts as well as chicken, and they look awful

Trusting your hair to stranger is always dangerous. Every time you enter a barbers, there’s a chance that someone might slip and either give you a dodgy fringe or possibly relieve you of an ear. Nonetheless, there is always the expectation of professionalism in any smart-looking salon. This makes KFC’s decision to offer some customers a chicken-inspired haircut all the more confusing.

As part of a campaign to promote its new “Famous Bowls” meals, the world-leading chicken franchise has decided that the best way to get the public’s attention is by giving them some truly awful trims. Last week, in Brooklyn, members of the public were encouraged to head down to Ludlow Blunt for a hairdo they were unlikely to forget in a hurry.

Perhaps due to the comparative lack of skill from the stylists involved, or maybe because the business just fancied making a nuisance of themselves, choices at the pop-up were severely limited. In fact, anyone hoping for a bob, a mullet or a beehive was going to leave disappointed. As the name of the new promotion implied, the only thing on the menu was the infamous 90s bowl.

Like soul patches, bad British food and OJ Simpson’s acting career, most people thought that we had all agreed to relegate bowl haircuts to the 90s cultural trash heap. A quick google of “bad bowl cuts” reveals a treasure trove of terrible styles that rightly deserved to die. But, like a mad necromancer intent on creating an army of hideously coiffed zombies, KFC have for some reason decided to bring back this most embarrassing of fashion trends.

Guests to the pop-up could choose from a selection of orders, each evocative of a new menu item. These ranged from the “Original Recipe” – an audacious number that gives the impression of a squashed papal mitre – to the “Spork and Bowl” – which leaves one looking like Ringo Starr’s virgin cousin. The truly daring can even ask for the “Gravy Fall”, which delivers a sweeping finish not dissimilar to a dead horse’s tail. All are alarming to look at.

The promotion, while horrifying, wasn’t all about subjecting yourself to unspeakable crimes against hair. Participants all received a gift card for a KFC Famous Bowl and had the opportunity to be photographed with their new look, which could in turn get them a guest appearance on KFC’s Twitter channel. Even those outside New York could take part by sending in photos of self-styled, chicken-inspired haircuts using the hashtag #KFCFamousBowlCuts.

Whether fried chicken-based haircuts become a permanent fixture of KFC’s repertoire remains to be seen. As of yet, the Brooklyn pop-up seems to be the only place that’s dared to offer this strange service to the public. Nonetheless, the powers that be have made it clear that they’re super excited by this new venture into the world of fashion. “I can’t believe we are actually selling a pound of delicious food for just $3, and I also can’t believe bowl cuts are making a comeback, but here we are, so naturally we’re offering KFC-ified Famous Bowl Cuts to anyone who wants to be as famous as our Famous Bowls.” We suggest anyone considering it gives themselves some time to properly think it over.