Individual slices of mayonnaise are coming and we’re very afraid

For food snobs, floppy wads of plastic cheese are one of the least appealing sights in the kitchen. But even if the concept is seriously stomach-turning, anyone who isn’t overly sensitive generally agrees that the lurid yellow squares are actually pretty tasty. 

However, just because it works for cheese, doesn’t mean that everything needs to be turned into a slice. Squidgy cheese is acceptable because it’s not too far removed from the original, but there comes a point where even the strongest stomachs have to draw a line. If not, your dinner stops looking delicious and starts to look like the effects department at a 70s horror studio.

Proving that society has now collectively moved beyond the pale of unnecessarily “convenient” food, shoppers in Japan will soon be able to get their hands on individual slices of mayonnaise. Described as a “sheet-like condiment” on the packaging, it looks every inch as disturbing as it sounds. Is it good? No one knows. Is it terrifying? Absolutely. 

Watch As Michelle Lesco Breaks Guinness World Record Eating Mayonnaise:

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In news that will set pulses racing everywhere, the new product will hit stores on March 2nd – though there is currently no word on whether it will be available outside of Japan. As per a translated press release, the slices, which are manufactured by Bourbon Company Ltd., can be “simply peeled off the film and placed on bread.” In terms of tastiness, it sounds less Michelin star, more Michelin tyre. 

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Although the packets, which are available in both “Tuna” and “Menta” mayo flavours, are definitely unusual, they arguably aren’t the strangest concept that Bourbon has come up with. 

Set to be released alongside the mayonnaise, customers will also be able to sample the unsettling sounding “sliced raw chocolate” and “raw chocolate apple butter” squares. Spreading condiments with a knife might have its downfalls, but if this is the alternative, we choose cutlery every time.