Kellogg’s has started selling packets of “Blue Waffles”

The internet is full of monsters. Some have become so legendary that they now enjoy the same storied status as vampires and werewolves. Others have successfully traumatised entire generations of overly curious children. Teetering right at the truly terrifying edge of the Google search spectrum, you will find “Blue Waffle”. 

Every internet user of a certain age knows that typing those dreaded two words into a search engine is a recipe for sleepless nights and profound nausea. In fact, if you needed to quickly prescribe an emetic, the “Blue Waffle” image results would probably be more effective than the most powerful medication. This makes one of the world’s biggest cereal producer’s decision to make a real-life edible blue waffle all the more baffling. Yet, here we are. 

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Officially known as “Blue Raspberry Mermaid Waffles”, the latest sweet treat from Kellogg’s has this week sent half the internet into hysterics, while the other half experiences severe PTSD. Part of the brand’s new range of peculiarly coloured desserts, the dish has successfully ensured that everyone’s worst internet-related memory has once again reared its head. Thanks a lot. 

In addition to the Mermaid flavour (which, in and of itself, is an undeniably weird premise), the brand has also produced “Unicorn” cotton candy and birthday cake varieties. Needless to say, neither of them have endured anywhere near the same amount of backlash. 

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No sooner had news of the release dropped than social media was flooded with furious and confused customers, simultaneously trying to draw Kellogg’s attention to the problem whilst avoiding raising the profile of “Blue Waffle” any higher. One comment on Twitter read: 

“Your team did absolutely no research before launching this. You are about to have backlash from a million parents. If you are not Kellogg’s then for the love of everything good do not Google blue waffle.”

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Other commentators mirrored this sentiment. A second wrote, “I’ve been informed that this is a thing that exists and I have… so many questions. Has nobody on the Kellogg’s team ever been on the internet? Do they not know what blue waffle is?” A third simply added, “STOP KELLOGG YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING.”

Though there is probably an innocent explanation for this catastrophic marketing error, it doesn’t make the waffles any less horrifying. As if it needed reiterating, please, for the love of God, don’t Google “Blue Waffle”. It will only upset you.