Woman banned from Walmart for drinking wine from a Pringles can whilst riding an electric cart

Twisted: Unserious food tastes seriously good.

The word “legend” gets massively overused. Too often, something as unremarkable as a well timed joke or holding open the office door can earn one what was once a sought after accolade for heroes in the days of yore. That being said, not every legend is inaccurately ascribed. This week, for instance, a woman from Wichita Falls has gone above and beyond in her determination to become a worthy recipient of the title. Admittedly, it might not have been deliberate, but the tale is still worth sharing.

The story starts on what seemed to be fairly normal Friday morning. Walmart employees slowly flocked to work, readying the store for the day ahead and opening up the doors to local shoppers. Everything felt calm. However, no sooner was the early shift underway, when staff noticed that something was amiss in the carpark. As they poked their heads outside the store, they were greeted by a sight that none of them will be likely to forget any time soon.

According to reports from local officers who were summoned to the scene, the Walmart parking lot was being terrorised by a women riding around on what looked like a stolen mobility scooter, swigging wine that had somehow been smuggled into a Pringles can. The woman in question had in fact been enjoying herself from about 630 AM, although it was not until 900 AM when police were finally summoned to help deal with the situation.

Quite why the woman chose to let off some steam in this particular car park remains unclear. What is apparent is that her hijinks set a new standard for both thinking outside the box and commitment. Walmart staff told reporters that she managed to spend a little over three hours patrolling the lot, only leaving when informed that the police had been called to forcibly remove her.

When the cops finally turned up, alarmed staff relayed that the mysterious cart rider had left the premises. Whether she was still mounted on her steed is not currently clear. However, it did not take long for the police to locate and catch up to her, as she was taking a quick break from Pringle wine in the breakfast room of a local diner. Rather than try to incarcerate such a legendary character, he cops instead elected to reiterate the message that she was no longer welcome in the Walmart carpark. For the sake of creating what promises to be an enduring mythos, this seems like a small price to pay.

This is, of course, not the first time that someone has been spotted doing something inexplicable and silly related to food and alcohol. Just last year, police arrested members of the public for crimes as diverse as assaulting a partner with a burrito and “lobster theft”. Nonetheless, there are so many unique aspects of this particular run in with the law that it certainly seems to stand head and shoulders above other, slightly more orthodox crimes. For giving us all faith that there are still heroes, however small, we commend the Wichita Pringles cart lady. Don’t ever change.