You can now buy a piñata filled with mini bottles of alcohol and candy chasers

In the middle of a heat wave that’s made London feel like the surface of Venus, expending your energy on smashing a small stuffed horse might not sound like the best use of your time. “Surely,” you might legitimately ask, “I’d be better off sitting under a massive fan, or spraying myself with something wet and cold?” As if in anticipation of these very legitimate concerns, the piñata industry has decided to act. Suddenly, swinging for the fences doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. 

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New for 2019, pioneering pony pummellers “Nipyata” have come up with a novel way to revolutionise everyone’s favourite violent party piece. Instead of offering standard piñatas stuffed with sweets and snacks, this business have taken things a step further by turning the game into a strictly adult affair. Unlike the childish alternative, Nipyatas come packed with alcohol. 

To anyone confused as to the origin of a “Nipyata”, the company’s official website provides a detailed description, revealing it to be a “piñata filled with nips, candy chasers, and NIPYATA! Fortunes.” The site continues, “Typically strung up at parties and beaten with a stick by adults until it breaks and things fall out and everyone goes wild. In other words: The World’s Greatest Drinking Game.”

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The company provides a variety of different Nipyatas, ranging in price from $89 to $189. Products can come with drinks ranging from Captain Morgan’s to Barcadi, all packaged in  plastic 50ml “nip” bottles, accompanied by customisable messages and candies including Starbucks and Swedish Fish. It certainly sounds like the ideal way to be both nostalgic and drunk.  

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Some may question the wisdom of swinging a large stick into a bottle of booze. Some may also wonder how necessary it is that we have the option to purchase a multitude of multicoloured horses, given that the world appears to be on fire. However, even in times like these, we all deserve to relax. Even if that relaxation involves battering a tiny animal in a drunken rage.