The bonkers Jubilee themed food and drinks that we definitely didn’t ask for

The Queen’s Jubilee is upon us, in case you haven’t noticed. Pffft, who are we kidding? You definitely have, we’ve all lost our damn minds.

To mark Queen Elizabeth II’s 70th year on the throne, just about every brand out there has spruced up their products in some way to ensure that they’re honouring the monarch in some way.

The Queen’s Jubilee has prompted food spin-offs galore (Credit: Alamy)

We’ve seen Maccies change their jingle, M&S spruce up their Colin the Caterpillar and Papa Johns release a quintessentially British cheese and pickle stuffed crust.

But beyond these offerings, there have been some tributes to the Queen that we can only describe as bonkers.

Take a look at some of the most brilliantly ridiculous Jubilee food offerings below. They’re utterly unhinged, and we couldn’t love them more: 

Lambrini’s limited edition LamQueenie

Fancy a glass of LamQueenie? (Credit: Lambrini)

Let’s face it, the Queen has never sipped on a glass of Lamrbini in her life.

That didn’t stop the folks at the drinks brand re-designing their bottles of the sparkling drink in her honour, and renaming the drink LamQueenie (which we must admit, we kind of love).

Retailing at £3, you can grab a bottle in gold, silver and rose gold. We have a feeling the rose gold will sell out almost instantly.

M&S Ham and Whole Egg Sandwich

Reckon the Queen likes a poached egg sandwich? (Credit: M&S)

We love M&S. Just read our article about their impact on the boxed sandwich if you don’t believe us.

But we’re sorry – this whole egg and ham sandwich seems excessive at best and horrendously messy at worst.

The sarnie is made from smoked British dry cure ham with egg mayonnaise and a whole soft poached egg.

Just imagine pulling that out at your desk at work?!

Aldi’s Kevin the Carrot – Jubilee edition

Kevin has been given a royal makeover (Credit: Aldi)

This isn’t food, per se, but its a Jubilee edition of Aldi’s most popular food character, Kevin the Carrot.

Kevin has had a right royal makeover for the Jubilee, playing dress up to look like the Queen herself.

We’re sure she’ll be chuffed at this. Right?? Right???

The jury is still out.

Morrisons’ Elizabeth Sponge

Behold, Morrisons’ Elizabeth Sponge (Credit: Morrisons)

We actually admire the sheer lack of effort here. Morrisons decided to rename its Victoria Sponge…Elizabeth Sponge, in tribute to Her ‘Maj.

The cakes look nice, don’t get us wrong. They’re made fresh from the Morrisons deli and consist of three sponge layers sandwiched with strawberry jam and whipped cream, with a topping of strawberries and icing sugar.

As for the rename? It’s utterly stupid, but we have no choice but to stan.

Subway’s 7-metre Street Party Sub

Subway are here with the 7 metre sub the Queen always wanted (Credit: Subway)

Subway has launched a 7-metre ‘Street Party Sub’ which sounds hilariously extra.

With optional fillings like Coronation Chicken Tikka, BMT, Turkey & Ham and Veggie Delite, the subs aren’t being sold widely but are actually part of a competition over on Subway’s website.

We wonder if the Queen will enter?!

McDonald’s Jubilee china

McDonald’s is offering the china for Platinum Jubilee competition winners (Credit: McDonald’s)

Fancy eating your Big Mac out of a china box? We can’t say it’s ever crossed out minds, really.

But that’s what’s on offer from the folks over at Maccies to mark the Platinum Jubilee.

Their competition will offer lucky winners the chance to win one of 70 china McDonald’s sets, so they can eat their Big Mac like a true royal.

We’re not sure if Queenie often frequents McDonald’s, but if she does, we’d like to imagine she’d use these…

Amazing Grace’s Jubilee themed cocktail

This is *so* extra (Credit: Amazing Grace)

This cocktail is so downright extravagant that we had to laugh.

Aptly named the Lizzie Royale, the drink is a mix of Earl Grey Tea and tequila, topped with a whole bunch British sweets and biscuits and finished with mini scones, cream and fresh berries. Naturally, it’s served on a fancy gold platter, too, with finger sandwiches on the side.

There will only be 70 of these drinks available from tomorrow until the end of the bank holiday, so if you’re in London and you want to toast to Queenie, you know what to do.

Sold at £20 per cocktail, the price certainly means it’s fit for a royal.

Who are we kidding? We’d absolutely smash this.

Tyrells’ Coronation Chicken crisps

Tyrells is pulling out the big guns with its Coronation Chicken crisps (Credit: Tyrells)

In another edition of ‘things the Queen would never eat but we still absolutely love’, Tyrells’ Coronation Chicken crisps are *back*. 

Available exclusively at Waitrose, the flavour is making a return for the celebrations, promising a crisp that tastes like the popular sandwich filling. The crisp packet is also adorned with a Union Jack. How very British.

They might be a bit whacky, but we’d eat many bags of these crisps, to be honest.

Heinz’ Salad Queen

Heinz Salad Queen… you couldn’t make it up (Credit: Heinz)

No shade on this one. We love the fact that Heinz has simply relaunched its Salad Cream with a new name.

We’re here for the simplicity and the absolute absurdity of naming it Salad Queen. We mean… you couldn’t make it up.

HP sauce has got a rebrand, too. It’s now called HM Sauce.

Honestly, what more could ‘Liz want?

Neon blue fish and chips

@crispandfry

🇬🇧 Jubilee Fish & Chips Anyone? #jubilee #fishandchips #wales #cymru #carmarthenshire #chips #crispandfry

♬ The British Grenadiers – Gruffydd John Harries, Paul Smith.

A tribute from Welsh chippy, Crisp and Fry, these neon blue fish and chips are a sight for sore-eyes.

Believe it or not, when paired with the chips and mayo, they’re meant to look like a Union Jack.

The Jubilee chippy order is made up bright red chips and electric blue fish, with stripes of mayo on top, like the white lines on the flag.

After spotting them on TikTok, people branded the chips “cursed” and one even wrote: “Thanks, Queen’s crying now”.

Did we get a good laugh out of them, though? Yes, yes we did.